So, I'm not going to lie. As much as I love dance, I probably have an equal amount of disdain for the image and up keep it takes. I didn't get into ballet for the tutus and the costumes so I was expecting a rough time. What I wasn't expecting, was my body and the horrors it posed for my journey.
The natural inflexibility, short limbs, muscular legs, lack of arch, a rear end to rival Jennifer Lopez, and my unfortunate lack of height all seem to be curses from whoever has something against my dancing. I was so unhappy with myself because L (dance teacher) would correct me for things that were out of my control. Over the past few years, it seems all I hear is, "Straighten those knees!" or, "I know that butt isn't tucked under!"
I would cry myself to sleep and hate myself for eating a cookie. All I could think about was how T1, and H, and T2, and S, and R were so much better than I and continually improved while I diminished. I would try to limit my food consumption to barely anything a day to no avail.
It took my 3 saviors--M, N, and BT (best T)--to realize that I don't need the legs or the arches or the favoritism or the flexibility or starvation to feel good about myself. I just needed to put the determination somewhere else. Into what I do have. I have the flexible back, the grace, the arabesque, the passion, and the leaps that I should have been concentrating on.
This is me. 5'2", 120 lbs, the girl with terrible feet, the girl who cannot turn to save her life, the girl that L can't stand, and the girl that can leap higher than most everyone she has ever met. Me.
This is my journey of breaking away from the ballerina image, to find my core love of ballet, fitness, and food all while remaining healthy, sane, and happy the best I possibly can.
Join me. It is going to be a hell of a ride.
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